Monday, December 6, 2010

The Golden Internets

Hed shout Meelk, Meelk. Lets really thank her, John said.
True belt spanking stories or Tuppenny Butterquims?
A beautiful choice, not unlike the
Irreconcilably sad leap sideways.
Hed shout Meelk, Meelk. Lets really thank her, John said.
*

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Frrrnt

Office of Mayhem Evaluation.
Please refrain from talking to your pet.
*

Friday, May 29, 2009

Philips

A strange camera,
Not like I'd seen before.
Sepia or black & white?
*

Monday, May 25, 2009

Mary Josephine Brydon
1928 - 2009

Goodbye, Sweet Cousin.
Say 'hi' to Molly for me.
*

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Saint Ignatius' Beans

In the year of our Lord, 2007,
a builder died of strychnine poisoning.
*
Noted

To the wicked
all things are possible.
*

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Foot

I love the microwave oven,
It's like a foggy morn' when you want one.
*

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Flechette

They work easily in their task,
At night they dine, safe in their supinity,
For they eat the bread of wickedness,
And drink the wine of violence.
*

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Xianzai

Do the old people know
that their dream
belonged to them?
*

Monday, May 11, 2009

Bunkeye and Dietary

Quo vadis, my friend?
Is it that time already?
Do you remember when we could
Eat lightning and crap thunder?
A long, long time ago, just like yesterday.
*

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Dove è.

I got two french ticklers
and some herringbone.
*

Friday, May 8, 2009

Shenandoah

Go fuck yourselves,
You filthy, white monkeys!
Choke to death on
Your perverted fœcal christianity.
Some things never change.
*
Who Am I?

My burps taste like raspberries
My farts are just like rainbows
My ball sweat smells like springtime
My feet are really mankey
It's good to be me!
*

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Shame

In the faded light
we all look the same.
Nice.
If only it was that easy.
*

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Lady

I'd really like a flying bus,
a flying bus for me!
If I had a flying bus,
I'd not go to Sydney.
*

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Polyglot.

If I thought I could dance,
I would.
Jeez, I like guava.
*

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Sonorous

How does it feel,
Peter Harvey,
to be a killer of whales?
*

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Urge

bucket of spew
missing the smell of you
*

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Uprising

When life gives you a teabagging,
hold a tea party.
*
Faulkner Street

The stench was all-pervading,
not unlike the fœtid stench of life.
The filth pronouncing our fingernails.
Our mornings a haze.
Thank god we were boys!
*

Monday, April 13, 2009

This Sceptred Isle

Hedgehogs, grizzly bears and Belgians!!!
We're all gonna die!!!
*

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Graffiti.

Swim deep waters, Streetfish.
*

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Conservatism.

Carpe diem and caveat emptor.
Forgotten, graceful ornaments to the civil order,
Eddie and Winnie now scramble through the dumpster.
*

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Black Vulture.

Endless piss, shit and vomit!
Am I a Black Vulture?
Am I?!
*
The Middle Kingdom.

As the grass mud horses
battle the river crabs
and the free but unfree serfs
take a holiday
the world looks on chuckling nervously
*

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Followers.

I am my own follower.
rpu150Zk0JFladYcobVDPfvgxeVqPmmXVggiRtua.
I'm not sure how this will end.
*
Wednesday.

Regarding the tomato paste with chilli,
only one buck fifty.
Were they vine ripened?
What is the used-by date?
Last January?!?
It's all good, it's easy squeeze.
*

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Who Watches the Watchmen?

The blue guy has
a rather small prong.
Could that be the issue?
*

Saturday, March 21, 2009

1966.

I have been receiving
Russian e-mails from 1966.
Impressive people, the Russians.
*
Horses for Courses.

.
*
Innocent as Charged.

Stephen Fry
whadda guy
he ain't too shy
not Stephen Fry

Constellation in the sky
ring through a cock's eye
face like a pork pie
our Stephen Fry
*
Arvicola amphibius (A Tale of Revenge)

Poop, poop!!
Kerrspaannng!!
Take that, you filthy animal!!
*
English.

Case in point to me alone but not all.

Leopold looked up at the arrow piercing
the skin of the dirigible with a sort of wondrous dismay
the wheezy shriek was just the sort of sound
he always imagined a baby moose being
beaten with a pair of accordions might make.

The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained
to the cruel post of the warrior-chief Beast,
with his barbarous tribe now stacking wood
at her nubile feet, when the strong,
clear voice of the poetic and heroic Handsomas roared,
"Flick your Bic, crisp that chick, and you'll
feel my steel through your last meal."

As the newest Lady Turnpot descended
into the kitchen wrapped only in her celery-green dressing gown,
her creamy bosom rising and falling like a
temperamental souffle, her tart mouth pursed in distaste,
the sous-chef whispered to the scullery boy,
"I don't know what to make of her."

"Ace, watch your head!" hissed Wanda urgently,
yet somehow provocatively, through red, full, sensuous lips,
but he couldn't you know, since nobody can
actually watch more than part of his nose or a little cheek or lips
if he really tries, but he appreciated her warning.

Case in point to me alone but not all.
*

Friday, March 20, 2009

Rustos.

Fuck off, Esme!
I'm not
tall, thin and half full of gin.
*
IV.

Patagonian Toothfish poachers
in the southern ocean.
*
The Denis Slade Objective.

The last tortured love's labour lost,
cost the best and the brightest
normal boy his freedom.
Fall away, the water brings poison
the sky littered with cancer
the rain, fire like, fuck you Santa
where's my red bike.
He said "no go," the guy next door.
Take your bike and
your leftist dyke.
Take all your tortured, buggered types.
Take 'em all and
take to flight and make sure
your dick hangs to the right.
But if it itches,
you know it's your fault,
cos' those Long Gully bitches
and their inbred sisters,
just for a glass of beer
she'll suck your bolt.
Amen, by God!
Amen to that.
Thank the lord for the Charlenes and the Darlenes
and the Cheryls and all their Energetic kin.
Grab 'em, get 'em, hug 'em, love 'em
take 'em in, take 'em in
and live a life if sin.
*
In collaboration with Brother Stumblefun and Brother Weirdlittleman.
*
Care.

If it is not good enough to kiss,
don't stick anything in it.
*
The Truth of the Monkey.

...even a fart can swell the wind.
*
Evanescence.

Steppin' on a slug
in bare feet,
I'd rather mud.
*
猫眼.

being afraid
you should be thinking
*
Vice.

So pass me here that number,
'cos I need a little hit.
To take away the memories,
to take away the shit.
*
Beat.

In life all chances are
the one before the end.
So,
no injecting in the elevators.
*
A Cunt of a Way to Spend Easter.

Crucifixion is addiction for
those afraid of drugs.
*
Jenny.

She went shopping
rather than set me alight for fun.
*
Latin Something Something.

ab abusu ad usum non valet consequentia.
tempora patet occulta veritas.
*
Stolen.

One of those balmy nights
that poets often write about.
Those nights that make you feel
that everyone for miles around
must be in bed and making hot, sweaty love.
You know the ones.
I know the ones.
*
Youth

Young is a situation,
*
Green Bottle.

I bought a bottle of wine with no label.
I've never done that before.
I paid two forty nine for that
no frills bottle.
The cork was plastic.
I drank from a teacup.
It did to me what I expect
from a cheap, green bottle.
*
It's Prada Nowadays.

We mark our territories with musk and fæces.
Is that how God marks us?
*
Grape Love.

If it was vitis that was the problem,
then I cannot understand why.
Did your wind bend citric or
did your soul bend tannin?
Give me the grape love!
*
Oh Crap.

Oh crap...
*

Racey.

Brrrm, brrrm.
Oh yeah,
and with a stripe.
Red or blue?
*
Thanksgiving.

Thank god for asian schoolgirl porn and souvlaki.
Thank god for Ayn Rand, she gave morons something to
believe.
Thank god for my brown
suede pencil case with the indian on it.
Thank god for marajuana, it makes food and sex even better.
Thank god for TeeVee.
Thank god for bells, they ring, Ring, RING.
Thank god for anti-static spray.
Thank god for swans, they taste like cat, y'know.
Thank god for butterflies, kittens and rainbows.
Thank god for pomegranates and asian schoolgirl porn.
*
Garibaldi

Garibaldi, Garibaldi, Garibaldi.
I'm bettin' that by now,
he's feelin' pretty moldy.
*
The Black Crow Fucks.

The black crow fucks
the persistent cloaca of New Zealand.
Perhaps it is unhappy,
perhaps...
*